Update

I've officially lost 7.5 lbs. 

I'm buying myself a book for every 5 lbs lost... except the book I wanted to buy is not in stock in the two bookstores in my town, and the three bookstores in the next closest town of any size. So, my mother is going to look for it today in the metropolitan area where she lives.

This might seem odd, except I'm driving up there today for the 4th, and for a late birthday celebration with family. 

I'm supposed to drink 64 ounces of water a day, plus 8 ounces for each 25 lbs I want to loose, which makes it a whopping 104 ounces a day. Of just water. Without Crystal Light, or anything else. It's not that I can't drink such things, it's just that I also need to drink the 104 ounces of water.

I have to start this on the day I have to drive three hours.

On Sunday I'm driving back here, to join up with the first ever pride event in my town (a lake party/cookout)... if I have "de nerve"

Oh, and I broke a nail, which is most annoying, because it was the one I used as a stylus on my Treo.

Drawing Women

I'm an artist, at least on the hobbyist level, and if I'm not on the computer, reading, beading, sewing, crocheting, (or eating, let's be honest here) then I'm drawing, painting, sketching... etc.

Most of my life, I would find myself spontaneously drawing women (usually without their clothes) and go "OMG, I can't be drawing that - I shouldn't even be thinking about a woman's body, much less drawing it. So I would erase or crumple up the offending drawing, and got rather good at drawing cats, as an alternative. I tried drawing men, but was never very good at it.

Last night, I realized that I now have no problem with drawing women, and spend an enjoyable evening doing just that.

Many Gifts, One Spirit

The sermon at church yesterday was about this, and the song the 

choir sang was this song (although this is not my church's choir) 

I was sitting there, next to a friend that I have quite a crush on, 

wishing I felt comfortable telling her, telling everyone there, about 

this part of me, and, not wishing the repercussions, saying nothing. 

This song is beautiful, but how can we say we are many parts one 

body when the same church that also sang this song refused 

baptism to a practicing lesbian (if she had made some kind of vow 

of chastity, it would have been fine...) and dismissed from 

employment a youth leader who was "outed" against her will. The 

man who was directing the choir has openly admitted in his 

testimony that he "struggles with homosexual urges" but that he is 

doing his best to overcome them and to prove that regularly dates 

women.

I want to think that if I told them, they'd realize that GLBT people 

are just as talented, called, and loved by God as anyone else, but 

seeing this congregational response to previous issues, I feel I 

would just be ostracized and made unwelcome in a place that has 

become "home" to me. I'm moving in about a month, and 

perhaps I'll just exit quietly, stage right.

The new diet...

So, I've started a new diet plan - one through a company - Metabolic Research Center - and suddenly I have a bunch of new supplements to take - with every meal, no less. 

In the picture here you see how many pills I'm to take each day. The first compartment on the left is filled with the pills that I had already been taking (one prescription medication, a multi-vitamin, and an iron supplement) The OTHER THREE compartments are filled with my new regimen...

Here's hoping this works!

You Say

You say you serve a God of love

Who came to wash the world of sin.

Your lineage you say comes from above

But your words show you're not of Him.

You say I'm like a junkie or a drunk

Irresponsibly picking up needle or can.

But I say that's a  load of junk

I have yet to lie with a woman or a man.

You didn't have to struggle, as a child

To fit your square self in a hole for a round peg.

I'm tired of hurting from the edges I've filed

I'm moving forward to see what's ahead.

But no no no no you cry

For don't you know that God will smite

you if you should try

to put a woman in your life

It's sin it's sin it's sin it's sin

You yell, louder and louder still

And after you finish, begin again

Your choleric rage making you ill

But all this serves the opposite intent

I see nothing Godly in this din

To you I will not repent

Love is the opposite of sin.

well, I'm not a very good poet, but at least I know it ;)

This song

This song has been on my heart and mind recently. I'd like to learn how to play/sing it, but can't seem to find the sheet music or accompaniment track anywhere :(

Pity Party

It's my birthday. I'm 27, broke, and alone.