Sunday, April 6, 2008

Ah, the irony...

So, I'll get back to deep history and other stuff which is percolating in the back of my head at the moment, but today I want to talk about my day.
So, there is a girl at my church that I have a crush on. We are fairly good friends, and for the past couple of weeks have hung out together after church. We can talk about almost everything except politics (and... well... do I have to spell it out?) and have a lot of the same hobbies and interests. And did I mention that she's beautiful?
Anyhow, she has no idea I'm lesbian, and we have a very satisfactory friend relationship. She is fully convinced that being gay is a sin, although she has several gay friends (more than she knows...) 
I don't know which is worse, to not spend time with her, or to spend time with her and know that I don't want to risk our current relationship by letting her know what I would like our relationship to be.
She treats me like a sister, and I *behave* like a sister with her.
Oh, and what did we spend at least an hour talking about today?

Men.

8 comments:

Hidden in Christ said...

thank you so much for the comment you left on my last blog! it's so nice to know i'm not alone in this boat! i especially connected with this line you wrote:

"but I feel that God has called me here, to this church, just as much as He made me a lesbian."

you nailed it! that is so me! i know God has called me into full time ministry and also made me gay! wow. to truly embrace that is giving me such freedom. thanks for fighting with me in this.

lesbian baptist, you keep speaking!

Anonymous said...

((just as much as He made me a lesbian.))

My sweet sister. God no more made you a lesbian than He made Cain a murderer, or me a thief. You can try to work your way around His Word, reinterpret it, and edit it to suit your fancy, but He knows, and I think you also know deep down in your heart, that lesbianism is not His design for you.

It's very hard to balance faith and sin, though many professing Christians try it all the time.

Better that you recognise the problem and work it through, than allow your sins to deceive you.

"But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent's cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ." (2 Corinthians 11:3)

"Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God's wrath comes on those who are disobedient." (Ephesians 5:6)

"evil......deceives those who are perishing. They perish because they refused to love the truth and so be saved." (2 Cor. 2:10)

"If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us." (1 John 1:8)

"At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures." (Titus 3:3)

"Don't be deceived, my dear brothers." (James 1:16)

"Do not deceive yourselves. If any one of you thinks he is wise by the standards of this age, he should become a "fool" so that he may become wise." (1 Cor. 3:18)

"Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders 10nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God" (1 Cor. 6:9-10)

It can't be any clearer than that, honey. I've been fooled by my lusts and passions, too -- thinking that God made exceptions for me, or that my sin wasn't really sin. But if God says it's sin -- IT'S SIN. And we need to repent and receive forgiveness.

I did it. I hope you do too.

Wormwood's Doxy said...

LB---Jesus told us that good comes from God (how could it be otherwise?), and only good trees bear good fruit. Look around at the lives and witness of GLBT Christians, and ask yourself about the good you see in them. Then ask yourself, "Did Jesus lie?"

And Jesus hung on the cross and said "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do"---He forgave his murderers without them even asking or repenting! Will He not do the same for those whose only "crime" is LOVE?!?!

If Anonymous is so concerned for your soul, let him/her sign a name to a post. I have no patience with people who preach at others, but who don't have the guts to sign their names---to me, it's the ultimate hateful cowardice. Since you have comment moderation, why even give them a platform to speak? You know what they think---and you and I both know they are wrong, because we know Jesus does not lie when He tells us that God is loving and merciful. He showed us that on the cross.

Love,
Doxy

Hope said...

My continued prayers and support. And please keep writing. It is wonderful to have insight into the lives of others fighting the fight and seeking happiness. I hope you find it.

Oh, and by the way...I was also in the GA's.

Hope

ClosetedBaptistLesbian said...

If I only listen to those I agree with, I am just as bad as the fundamentalists that drive me crazy

Hope said...

When I read the post by Anonymous yesterday, which you were gracious enough to post in spite of its self-righteous content, it angered and frustrated me. My first thought was to jot off some manic ranting, because, as some may know, it is those like Anonymous who have driven me to very dark places...but instead, I opted to step away, recoup and then speak.

To Anonymous, I would like to say the following:

You claim that we are deceiving ourselves and you have presented your scriptural references in an effort to substantiate your self righteous claims. With the exception of your passage from Corinthians, which I will address shortly, all of your references speak of sin in general terms. Sin encompasses many, many things. And yet, you have managed to use those scriptures as a basis for condemning same gender relationships when the scriptures made no such reference. YOU chose specific scriptural passages to substantiate an argument you have against gays and lesbians. You have in fact, in your own words, worked your way around God's word, reinterpretted it and edited it to suit your fancy. As for the specific quote from Corinthians, which actually made use of the word "homosexual", I do not know from which version of the Bible you read...however, the King James Version reading of the same passage does not use this word. There is another passage from the first book of Timothy in the newer, more modern versions of the Bible which is also used by those who wish to condemn gays and lesbians...this passage also uses the word "homosexual". However, again, the King James Version does not. Man has rewritten God's word through the centuries, to substantiate that which he wishes to condemn or condone. The King James Version itself was no exception for it was commissioned by King James himself. If all the literal interpretations were taken from the Bible and put into practice, from both the old and modern versions, we would have public stonings, women would not be allowed to minister, wear pants, cut their hair, wear jewelry or makeup, or any number of other things found in the Bible. I implore you to thoroughly read both books of Corinthians. If you are going to use Paul's writings as your justification, be prepared to enforce the rest of his teachings as well and not just choose those things which serve your purpose. It is common knowledge that Christians who wish to condemn gays and lesbians use the scripture in the same way you have accused LB.

When reading my Bible, I listen with my heart to what Jesus says...those words are written in red in my Bibles...all versions, old and modern translations. Funny how the translations of Jesus' words never vary much, if at all. And, Jesus never said who we had to love...at least I've never found it yet...if someone has, please correct me.

Lastly, in your first statement, you actually made an agruement for the side of those you seek to condemn. No, God did not make Cain a murderer. God gave us free will and the decisions to murder, steal, lie, and any other sin you can list, those decisions we make are our own because we have free will. Being gay was not a free will decision for me...its who I am...I would not have chosen to live a life of torment. I was born gay as much as I was born with blue eyes. It was part of the fiber of my being from day one.

I couldn't let LB be assaulted without at least a rebuttal...and I apologize to those in the community if I have not done so in a gracious and eloquent manner.

Hope

Choralgirl said...

...the difference being that the "opposing" voices are those of the comfortably privileged majority using the specious and convenient prooftexting technique (through which you can support virtually any position), and you are in an already thrice-vulnerable position as
* a person of a sexual minority
* in an unfriendly, unsafe culture
* in an emotionally-loaded "easy shots now" discussion with someone unwilling to step up and speak forthrightly.

Note to Anonymous: Be careful here--God has a lot of stuff to say about the importance of honesty and compassion in that book, as well. Watch out for the plank in your own eye.

Hidden in Christ said...

oh i have SO been in your shoes. it's so hard to know how to act. honestly, i think you should keep being friends and see where it goes... i'm so glad to know that God is sovereign over all this, aren't you!

sorry again about anonymous' posts. i wonder if he or she has really changed anyone's minds. wow and with all those verses! i'm just glad to know i wasn't the only one getting all this heat.